In a world where the earth is the size of a marble, you don't matter. They don't even see you. In a world where the earth is the size of a tennis ball, you're a pest. They squash you. In a world where the earth is the size of a beach ball, you're a pet. They cage you. Now, aren't you lucky you live in a world where the earth is the size that it is? You're always lucky. Believe that.
TaviaMaeBradshaw
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows
You give 1 to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both an gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, & then throws the milk away…
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows
You sell one and buy a bull
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows
You sell them and retire on the income
SURREALISM
You have 2 giraffes
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You sell one, & force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows
Later you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows
You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majoruty share holder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cown and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows - but you don’t know where they are
You decide to have lunch
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You count them and learn you have 5 cows
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows - none of them belong to you
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You have 300 people milking them
You claim that you have full employment & high bovine productivity
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You worship them
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have to cows
Both are mad
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows
You tell them that you have none
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…
AN AUSTRALIAN
You have 2 cows
Business seems pretty good
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
